The child-parent relationship - astrological point of view
Although challenging at times and although it can make parents jump over their own shadow, parenting opens a chance to grow as an individual and to develop personal potentials.
In my astrological praxis I compare horoscopes between parents and children and observe that parents and their children are compatibel in interesting ways. Child's temperament or sensitivities, it's talents and interests, or some other child's idiosyncrasies can challenge certain habits, patterns of behaviort, hidden potentials or certain vulnerabilities of a parent. The parent-child relationship proves to be a powerful drive, a dynamic force oriented towards change and development that I will illustrate in the further text. Even though my examples talk about mother-child relationship, the same dynamic bond exists between the father and the child.
A young mother who felt 'ovewhelmed' by her child came to see me. Her horoscope suggested an independent and strong personality with an emphasized self-defensive posture. It turned out that this defensiveness manifested as being agreeable but closed towards others, with maintaining a distance and guarding her privacy. On the other side, the horoscope of her child showed an abundance of direct and spontaneous energy that was oriented towards others and that needed others in order to develop and affirm the strong ego within relationship. In the comparison of the mother's and child's horoscope it became obvious that this child strongly challenges the way the mother is used to create her emotional security. The mother has developed a pattern of creating emotional security through keeping others at distance. That is why she felt overwhelmed by the temperament and sociableness of her child, but also felt that she needs to jump over her own shadow in order to fulfill her child's needs. This challenge confronted her with certain themes from her own childhood, and she had to deal with them. The natural disposition of the child gave this young mother a possibility to come to terms with her own past and with her patterns of behavior. Astrology has helped to gain clarity about this.
Another child's horoscope from my practice suggested a sensitive and delicate nature. Feeling, sensation, intuition and imagination were emphasized in this child's horoscope, as well as sublimate and indirect way of doing things. All of that was in strong contrast with the cerebral, direct and pragmatic nature of mother, all suggested in her horoscope and confirmed in our conversation. Mother was anxious about the child, and percieved it's disposition as weakness or even as impediment. The horoscope comparison showed that this parent-child bond was focused upon mother's mind set , her perception and believes. The challenge here was to understand the "otherness" of a child, to accept it and to outgrow own habitual perspective and preconceptions. The confrontation with the "otherness" of the child needed also a clarification of mother's value system.
Reciprocal development of personal potentials was quiet compatible in these two horoscopes, although the relationship was not an easy one. The child could open for its mother a completely new emotional and perceptual world and the mother can teach the child to see things from more than one perspectives and to take a healthy distance from emotional excess. The analytical and pragmatical gift of the mother is very important here, because the child's horoscope suggested strong subjectivity and a tendency to take everything personally, which can lead to oversensitivity and strain the self-perception and relationships.
Yet another mother's horoscope suggested that dealing with emotions was a challenge for her. Her natal chart suggested strong feelings, tendency to see everything in black-and-white, and that emotional balance and how to set boundaries has to be learned. The horoscope of the child suggested a balanced emotional nature and delicacy of feelings. Another important position in the mother's horoscope is same as in the child's horoscope and suggested the accordance of psychological motivation with pronounced social needs. The mother said her child is a "remedy for her soul". She told me that she learns how to temper the expression of emotions for the sake of her child, and that she discovered options for her emotional repertoire through the balanced manner of the child. In few words, she started to learn emotional competency through and with her child.
These examples show how important it is to be alert for the individual nature and individual needs of the child, and how important it is to open oneself for the New as a parent. In the same time, our complex modern world puts growing demands upon the individual, so that our perception of children becomes colored with social expectations and pressure.
It is exactly here where astrological insights can offer a valuable orientation for navigating the life with children. With astrological tools we examine how the potentials and sensitivities of a child and the parental patterns of behavior and thinking influence each other and what possibilities are open through this very special bond.
© Tanja Ristovski